L.P. and his wife have a cross-cultural marriage have been married for 9 years with two young sons. Here is what he has to say:

L.P.和妻子属于跨文化婚姻，他们已经结婚9年，育有2个年幼的儿子。他是这么说的:

“Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.”
Proverbs 13:11 NIV

不劳而得之财必然消耗；勤劳积蓄的，必见加增。箴言13:11

The most respectful thing a man can do is to make sure he’s serious before even thinking about a relationship. If you don’t know someone well enough to know whether you want to marry them, don’t date. Pursue or don’t, but don’t play games. If a man sees someone he believes he could lay his life down for (because he will have to every day in marriage), he should use a “foot-in-the-door” technique: first, ask her to go to a large social activity (a small group fellowship or Sunday service for example); next, a smaller group gathering; next, a double date (don’t call it that—call it “game night” or something) with a more mature couple. If she agrees to all of those, you can be pretty sure she’s interested too.

一个男人所能做的最值得敬重的事情就是 在考虑进入一段关系之前确保他对此是认真严肃的。如果你对某人不够了解，还不知道你是否想和他们结婚，请不要约会。无论追求与否，但不可儿戏。如果男生看到一个他坚信可以为之付出生命的人（因为他在婚姻中每天都必须这样做），他应该采用“循序渐进”的技巧：首先，邀请她参加一个大型的社交活动（例如小组团契或周日服事）；接下来，参加一个小规模的小组聚会；再接下来，和一对更成熟的情侣结成四人约会（别这么叫——可以称之为“游戏之夜”或别的什么）。如果她同意上述安排的话，你就可以很确定她对你也有兴趣。

 

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L.B. and her husband have been married for 36 years. They have 10 kids including a son they adopted, 12 grandchildren and one grandbaby on the way. Here is what she has to say:

L.B.和丈夫已经结婚36年，养育了10个儿女，其中包括一个养子，另有12个孙辈和一个即将出生的孙子。她是这么说的:

In a group setting get to know her better. Listen to her and offer prayer for her when she expresses concerns. Offer to help do things for her that aren’t necessarily with her but show concern, care and interest.

在小组环境中可以更好地了解她。当她表达担忧时，可以倾听她的故事并为她祈祷。主动帮助她做一些事情，不一定要与她一起但可以表达你对她的担忧、关心和兴趣。

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S.R and A.R. have been married for 11 years and have 3 young children. Here is what they have to say:

S.R和A.R.已经结婚11年，育有3个年幼的孩子。他们是这么说的:

Find out what is important to her and try to know her more. Spend time talking and ask good questions. Be chivalrous. And be direct even if it feels risky. It is romantic and respectful to state intentions directly. “I like you and would like to take you on a date to get to know you better.” Laying out intentions is the best way to be respectful and make sure the woman feels pursued in a more respectful way. If she is not interested, respect that and move on.

去发现对她很重要的事情，尝试更多地了解她。花时间与之交谈并提出好的问题。要彬彬有礼。即使感到有风险，也要直截了当。直接表达你的意图其实是很浪漫的，也显出你对她的尊重。 “我喜欢你，想和你约会，以便更好地了解你。”展示意图是你尊重对方的最佳方式，也能让女生觉得你在以一种更尊重的方式追求她。如果她对你不感兴趣，请尊重对方意愿，不用再纠结。

 

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C.M. and his wife have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children. Here is what he has to say:

C.M.和妻子已经结婚12年，育有3个年幼的孩子。他是这么说的:

Be a friend that is always there…literally!

做一个永远在你身边的朋友……真的！

 

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