Fairy Tale Marriage  || 童话般的婚姻

C.M. and his wife have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children. Here is what he has to say:

C.M.和妻子已经结婚12年，育有3个年幼的孩子。他是这么说的:

We often view a wedding as the end of a fairy tale “…and they live happily ever after”. Like a typical romantic movie, we are swooned by the love in the air. I’m happy to say that you will experience movie-style romance in marriage, but there will also be moments that are closer to a war movie: building trenches, air strikes and bomb detonations. And if couples are not careful, the war movie can turn into a horror film!

我们经常把婚礼看作童话的结局 “他们从此就幸福地生活在一起”。就像经典的爱情片一样。 我们沉醉在爱的气息里。 我很高兴的说， 你在婚姻当中会经历像电影里一般的浪漫，但同时也会有如战争片一般的时刻。要修建战壕， 有空袭和炸弹爆炸。 如果夫妻不小心， 战争片还会变成惊悚片！

During the early years of our marriage (after we had been living together) my wife and I found out something surprising about each other. We were the couple who seemed so compatible and thought that we were very much alike. But it turned out to be the exact opposite. Top that off with past hurts and unresolved issues and this became the lowest point of our relationship. We were on the verge of a meltdown. I was the irresponsible, immature and lying husband and she was the over-critical, hyper-sensitive, demanding wife. We both built our trenches; we both held our ground and we attacked at will.

在我们婚后最初几年（我们在一起住之后）， 妻子和我彼此有一些惊人的发现。 我们看起来很般配，也有很多相似的地方。 但事实原来恰恰相反。加上过去有过的伤害和一些没被解决的问题， 这就成为我们关系的最低谷。 我们处在崩溃的边缘。 我是一个不负责任， 不成熟， 爱撒谎的丈夫， 而她是一个过分挑剔， 过度敏感， 过于苛求的妻子。 我们都有自己的战壕， 都要坚守自己的阵地， 也随时准备进攻。

There were two things that held us together: our commitment to each other and viewing marriage as a testimony. During our wedding ceremony, we had decided that we would throw away the word “divorce” in our marriage. If we were going to be together for the rest of our lives, we would have to make this work. It was difficult, but we discussed all of our unresolved issues. We talked about the personal hurts and disappointments we both experienced from one another. And we prayed (a lot).

有两件事把我们绑在一起： 一是我们对彼此的承诺， 而且把婚姻看做我们的见证。 在婚礼当中， 我们决定把“离婚”这个词扔掉。 如果我们决定跟彼此共度余生， 就要好好相处。 这个非常困难，但我们讨论了所有未解决的问题，谈论了对彼此的个人伤害和失望，而且多做daogao。

Being a man, I found it very difficult to accept my wife’s complaints and criticisms. But understanding that the way I treat my wife reflects the way Christ treats His church really changed my perspective and actions. I am representing Christ’s love not just to my wife but also to other people who can see our marriage.

作为一个男人， 我发现我很难接受妻子的埋冤和批评。 但我明白对待妻子的方式反映了jidu对待jiaohui的方式，我的观点和行为真的有所改变。我不仅仅代表了jidu对我妻子的爱， 也代表了其他那些看到我们婚姻的人的爱。

This is no fairy tale story marriage, but it is a marriage that will become God’s story.

这不是童话故事里的婚姻， 却要成为shen的故事。