Forgive and be reconciled || 饶恕与和好

This article is a part of a series called “Spiritual Waimai Voices” where we welcome our friends to share some spiritual food with us in their own voice. This Spiritual Waimai was written and recorded by our friend Veronica.

本文是《属灵外卖之声》系列文章之一，该系列里我们欢迎朋友们用自己的声音来分享灵粮。这篇属灵外卖的写作来自我们的朋友Veronica.

The Holy Spirit helps us to forgive
圣灵帮助我们饶恕人

God understands that forgiveness it’s not an easy task. It can be challenging and difficult. Especially as the flesh tends to seek retribution or revenge. God knows the fleshly tendencies, but we are encouraged to overcome our flesh by the strength that His Spirit gives.

Shen知道饶恕实非易事，尤其是凭血气想要报复时，会极具挑战，异常困难。Shen了解人肉体的倾向，但还是鼓励人靠着圣灵赐下的力量胜过肉体。

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
2 Peter 1:3-4

 

Shen的Shen能已将一切关乎生命和虔敬的事赐给我们，皆因我们认识那用自己荣耀和美德召我们的主。因此，他已将又宝贵、又极大的应许赐给我们，叫我们既脱离世上从情欲来的败坏，就得与Shen的性情有份。
彼得后书1:3-4

We can achieve the “difficult” or even “impossible” task of forgiveness only through the Holy Spirit who works in us and through us. This is God’s promise to us!

唯有靠着在我们心中做工并透过我们做工的圣灵，我们才能在困难甚至是不可能的情况下饶恕人。这是Shen给我们的应许！

Barriers to unforgiveness
拦阻饶恕的障碍

Even with the Holy Spirit working in you, there may be a variety of factors that make it seemingly impossible or unwise to forgive. How can you break through these barriers to forgiveness?

即便有圣灵在心中做工，有时候也会有各种因素让饶恕看起来不可能或者不明智。如何才能突破这些拦阻而饶恕人呢？

• A sense of injustice. God is judge and He has made His verdict.
• Hurt or pain from betrayal. God knows the pain. Let the pain for the loss of relationship with that loved one compel you to pursue reconciliation.
• A need for consequence. Jesus paid the price for us all. Therefore pursue restoration, not punishment.
• Fear of being taken for granted. Trust in God’s care and protection. God will never take you for granted.
• The “offender” is not remorseful or sorry and does not seek forgiveness. Be the initiator of forgiveness. (Consequences for criminal offense are to be governed by the law enforcement, We are still required to forgive the sinner while he or she has to endure the legal consequences of their sin.)

 

• 不公义的感觉。Shen是审判的那一位，祂已经做出了判决。
• 背叛带来的伤害或痛苦。Shen知道你的痛苦。让跟所爱的人关系破裂的痛苦敦促你寻求和好。
• 要求承担后果。Yesu为所有人付上代价。所以，要追求重建而非惩罚对方。
• 担心被轻看。信靠Shen的看顾和保护。祂绝不会轻看你。
• 冒犯你的人没有悔意或歉意，没有请求饶恕。要主动饶恕。（刑事犯罪要接受法律制裁。 在犯罪的人为其罪行承受法律后果时，Shen依然要求我们要饶恕他）。

The Ministry of Reconciliation
和好的职分

So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:16-19

 

所以，我们从今以后，不凭着外貌（原文作“肉体”。本节同）认人了，虽然凭着外貌认过Jidu，如今却不再这样认他了。若有人在Jidu里，他就是新造的人，旧事已过，都变成新的了。一切都是出于Shen，他藉着Jidu使我们与他和好，又将劝人与他和好的职分赐给我们。这就是Shen在Jidu里叫世人与自己和好，不将他们的过犯归到他们身上，并且将这和好的道理托付了我们。
哥林多后书5:16-19

Any fracture in our fellowship or relationship with one another is not a condition God wants us to maintain. It needs to be remedied and cured. That remedy is called forgiveness and reconciliation. That is why God tells us “First go and be reconciled” when presenting an offering on the altar.

Shen不愿意在我们的团契或关系中存在任何的裂痕。裂痕需要进行补救或医治。补救又称作饶恕或和好。这是为什么Shen吩咐我们在去祭坛献祭之前，要“先去同弟兄和好”。

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 5: 23-24

 

所以，你在祭坛上献礼物的时候，若想起弟兄向你怀怨，就把礼物留在坛前，先去同弟兄和好，然后来献礼物。
马太福音5:23-24

Steps to Reconciliation
和好的步骤

1.Confess to God
跟Shen认罪

Tell God how you truly feel about the situation, your disappointment, sense of betrayal or the broken trust. Confess any anger, frustration and distrust. Through confession, God forgives us and will help us to overcome.

告诉Shen你对事情的真实感受、你的失望、被背叛或失去信任的感觉。承认自己的愤怒、沮丧和不信任。透过认罪，Shen饶恕我们并帮助我们得胜。

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

 

遮掩自己罪过的，必不亨通；承认离弃罪过的，必蒙怜恤。
箴言28:13

2.Abandon pride and initiate reconciliation
放下骄傲，主动和好

Do not dwell in self-pity (which is of the flesh) but rise up to a higher self for you: God’s child, a royal priesthood, a conqueror! Follow Christ’s humility and go be reconciled with your offender.

不要一味自怜（自怜是出于肉体），反而要兴起，成为更卓越的自己：Shen的孩子，是有君尊的祭司，是得胜者！效仿Yesu的谦卑，跟冒犯你的人和好。

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”
Galatians 6:1-5‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

 

弟兄们，若有人偶然被过犯所胜，你们属灵的人就当用温柔的心把他挽回过来，又当自己小心，恐怕也被引诱。你们各人的重担要互相担当，如此，就完全了Jidu的律法。人若无有，自己还以为有，就是自欺了。各人应当察验自己的行为。这样，他所夸的就专在自己，不在别人了，因为各人必担当自己的担子。
加拉太书6:1-5

Set the right attitude, which is the attitude of love.
保持正确的态度，也就是充满爱的态度。

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
哥林多前书13:4-7

3.Meet privately in-person
私下会面

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.”
Matthew 18: 15

 

“倘若你的弟兄得罪你，你就去趁着只有他和你在一处的时候，指出他的错来。他若听你，你便得了你的弟兄；
马太福音18:15

Do not lash out at the person, but to gently correct an error. Go with the objective to gain restoration.
不要大加指责对方，而是要温柔地纠正错误。会面的目标是为了和好。

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
1 Thessalonians 5:15

 

你们要谨慎，无论是谁都不可以恶报恶。或是彼此相待，或是待众人，常要追求良善。
帖撒罗尼迦前书5:15

4.Extend love and forgiveness
给予饶恕和爱

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:25-26, 29, 32

 

所以你们要弃绝谎言，各人与邻舍说实话，因为我们是互相为肢体。生气却不要犯罪，不可含怒到日落；污秽的言语，一句不可出口，只要随事说造就人的好话，叫听见的人得益处。并要以恩慈相待，存怜悯的心，彼此饶恕，正如Shen在Jidu里饶恕了你们一样。
以弗所书4:25-26,29,32

• Set aside the “awkwardness” or “discomfort” of a hard situation. Overcome feelings and do what is right.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
• Use clear and loving communication
• Be constructive not destructive. Consider your tone of voice and use words that build the other person up.
• Explain how the other has wronged you, how it made you feel and your suggestion to restore the relationship.
• Give the opportunity to clarify whether it was intentional or a misunderstanding – giving the person the benefit of the doubt. (Sometimes it’s our own “baggage” that caused the misunderstanding.)
• Specifically ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness.
• If the person is unwilling to reconcile, guard your heart – do not be provoked and become angry. Still extend mercy and love, assure them that you have chosen to forgive the wrong through God’s grace, then separate in good terms.
• 不要在意处理棘手境况的“尴尬”或“不舒服”。要克服情绪，做正确的事情
• 凭爱心清晰地沟通。
• 不要有破坏性，要有建设性。留心自己的语调，要说造就人的话。
• 跟对方解释他如何错待了你，你的感受如何，并建议如何修复关系。
• 给对方机会澄清错失是故意造成的抑或是出于误会—-先假定他是无辜的。。。。（有些时候是我们自己的问题导致误会的产生）。
• 明确地请求饶恕并给予饶恕。
• 如果对方不愿意和好，要保守己心—-不要被激怒。依然施予仁慈和爱，让对方放心，透过Shen的恩典，你已经选择饶恕他的错失，然后友好分手。

Live out forgiveness
活出饶恕

Think on the sin no more, stay free from unforgiveness and focus on honoring God’s mercy by choosing to live in love and harmony – do not listen to the lies of the enemy that wants you to fall into sin, following your flesh.

不要对过犯念念不忘，不要有不饶恕的念头，选择凭爱心和睦生活，专心荣耀Shen的慈爱。不要听敌人的谎言，它想让你跟随肉体，落入罪中。

“To be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:23-24

 

又要将你们的心志改换一新，并且穿上新人，这新人是照着Shen的形像造的，有真理的仁义和圣洁。
以弗所书4:23-24

Treat the offender as your neighbor, be kind, gentle. Sometimes people are not easily convinced that we have truly forgiven and therefore withdraw in their own insecurity. But we are not to give up in doing good to them.

待冒犯你的人如邻舍，要和善温柔。有些时候人们不容易相信我们真的饶恕了他们，会因为缺乏安全感而退缩。

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:6

 

不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，
哥林多前书13:6

You cannot control how others respond to you, but you can control how you respond to others – for this we will be held accountable.

你不能控制别人如何回应你，但你能控制自己如何回应别人，我们要为此负责。

Jesus never taught the concept of “to forgive is to forget”, because we may not forget the incident just the same as we do not forget about certain details of our life experiences, good and bad. However, although it stays in our memory, it will not have any emotional effect on us – the bitterness or hurt have passed.

Yesu从未教导”饶恕即忘却“的概念，因为就像我们不能忘记生活中某些欢喜或悲伤的细节一样，我们可能无法忘记被冒犯的事。然而，就算不能忘怀，它却不能在情绪上影响我们，苦毒或伤害已经过去了。

Forgiveness is never easy, but it is the pathway to reconciliation, restoration and peace. Because Christ has forgiven you, you can with his power and love, forgive others.

饶恕从来就不容易，但却是通向和好、重建以及和睦的途径。因为Jidu饶恕了你，所以靠着祂的力量和爱，你可以饶恕他人。