How to Find a Husband or Wife Genesis-Style || 如何寻找丈夫或妻子-创世记择偶指南

Article #24 in the series: You Are God’s Masterpiece: The Genesis Notes.

你是神的工作: 《创世记手记》系列第二十四篇

Principles and Practices
原则与实例

The characters in the Bible live in an ancient world, a culture very different from our modern life. So to help us apply these ancient stories to our daily lives we can ask ourselves these questions:

圣经中的人物们生活在古代，那时的文化跟现代社会有很大的差别。所以，为了帮助我们将那些古代的故事应用到我们的日常生活中来，我们可以问自己以下问题：

1
What are the principles being taught?
这个故事教导了哪些原则？

2
What are the practices acted out?
有哪些实际的做法？

3
Do the practices still stand for us today?
这些做法今天仍适用于我们吗？

The story in Genesis 24 will have some clear principles we can lives by. The practices, how they accomplished goals, might not fit our culture, but we can apply the principles taught.

创世记二十四章的故事清楚告诉我们一些生活的原则。他们的做法，到达目标的方式也许在我们的文化中不可行，但我们可以运用当中一些原则。

How to Find A Husband and How to Find a Wife
如何寻找丈夫和妻子

Even in modern times there are many different ways to find a husband or wife. Every culture is a little different. Some cultures depend on the family to find the future husband or wife. I know in some Chinese cities there are markets where parents can advertise their children to other parents to make a match. Some cultures use matchmakers. Some cultures use online dating. There are many different ways to find “Mr.” or “Mrs. Right.”

即使在现代社会， 寻找丈夫或妻子的方式也多种多样，不同的文化也各有差异。在有的文化中，人们依靠亲族来寻找未来的丈夫或妻子。据我所知，在中国一些城市，有许多相亲角，父母们会在那里为自己的子女做广告，向别的父母介绍，来为自己的孩子找对象。在有些文化中人们会请媒人帮忙介绍，而另一些文化中人们则利用约会网站。总之找到真命天子或称心太太的方式多种多样。

Today we will read an interesting story of how Abraham found a wife for his son Isaac. The practices – the way he did it – may not fit our modern culture. But let’s look at the principles behind what Abraham did to learn how we can also look for a good match.

今天我们就来读一个有趣的故事–亚伯拉罕如何为自己的儿子以撒寻找妻子。他的做法也许不适用于现代，但我们可以发掘一下亚伯拉罕行事背后的原则，学习一下我们该如何寻找自己的另外一半。

Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.” The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?” “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. “The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. Then he prayed, “ Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Genesis‬ 24:1-14‬ NIV‬‬

 

亚伯拉罕年纪老迈，向来在一切事上耶和华都赐福给他。亚伯拉罕对管理他全业最老的仆人说：“请你把手放在我大腿底下。我要叫你指着耶和华天地的主起誓，不要为我儿子娶这迦南地中的女子为妻。你要往我本地本族去，为我的儿子以撒娶一个妻子。”仆人对他说：“倘若女子不肯跟我到这地方来，我必须将你的儿子带回你原出之地吗？”亚伯拉罕对他说：“你要谨慎，不要带我的儿子回那里去。耶和华天上的主，曾带领我离开父家和本族的地，对我说话，向我起誓说：‘我要将这地赐给你的后裔。’他必差遣使者在你面前，你就可以从那里为我儿子娶一个妻子。倘若女子不肯跟你来，我使你起的誓就与你无干了，只是不可带我的儿子回那里去。”仆人就把手放在他主人亚伯拉罕的大腿底下，为这事向他起誓。那仆人从他主人的骆驼里取了十匹骆驼，并带些他主人各样的财物，起身往美索不达米亚去，到了拿鹤的城。天将晚，众女子出来打水的时候，他便叫骆驼跪在城外的水井那里。他说：“耶和华我主人亚伯拉罕的神啊，求你施恩给我主人亚伯拉罕，使我今日遇见好机会。我现今站在井旁，城内居民的女子们正出来打水。我向哪一个女子说：‘请你拿下水瓶来，给我水喝。’她若说：‘请喝，我也给你的骆驼喝。’愿那女子就作你所预定给你仆人以撒的妻。这样，我便知道你施恩给我主人了。”
创世纪24：1-14

How to Find a Wife
如何寻找妻子

There are several actions Abraham, his servant and Isaac did to find the right wife. They were not happy to find any wife. They wanted the perfect match for Isaac. Abraham had a clear idea of the best kind of wife and he was determined to find her for his son.

为了给以撒找到合适的妻子，亚伯拉罕、仆人和以撒都做了几件事。他们不是随便找一个人，而是想给以撒一个最完美的另一半。亚伯拉罕也清楚地知道怎样才是最好的妻子，因此他下定决心一定要为自己的儿子找到。

Right People, Right Place
正确的人，正确的地点

The first thing Abraham told his servant was to go to the right people and to the right place. Abraham was concerned about the spiritual life of his future daughter-in-law and her family. Abraham was surrounded by godless people and he did not want his son to marry someone who was not serving the One True God.

亚伯拉罕首先嘱咐自己的仆人要做的事情是：去对的地方找对的人。他担心未来儿媳和她的家人的属灵生活。亚伯拉罕的周围满是不敬畏 神的人，他不希望自己的儿子娶一个不服侍独一真 神的妻子。

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV

 

“你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭。义和不义有甚么相交呢？光明和黑暗有甚么相通呢。”
哥林多后书6:14 和合本

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题

What is the principle we can learn from Abraham’s decision to find a spiritually suitable wife for his son? How can a man in modern times do the same thing?

亚伯拉罕决定为自己的儿子寻找一个属灵上匹配的妻子，从这里我们可以学到什么原则？现代社会的男人该如何这样行呢？

Ask God to Choose
求神来选择

Abraham, his servant and Isaac all gave up their rights to make the choice. Isaac gave up his choice to his father, Abraham gave up his choice to his servant and the servant gave up his choice to God. Ultimately they all let go of their right to choose the woman and let God make the final decision.

亚伯拉罕、仆人以及以撒都放弃自己做选择的权利，以撒让自己的父亲选择，亚伯拉罕让自己的仆人选择，而仆人则请 神来抉择。最后，他们都放下自己在挑选女子时的权利，让 神来做最终抉择。

“Many are the plans of a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19:21 NIV

 

“人心多有计谋；惟有耶和华的筹算才能立定。”
箴言 19:21

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题

If you are not yet married are you willing to allow God to make the choice of your future mate? How can you give God the control?

如果你还未婚，你愿意让神来替你挑选未来的配偶吗? 你怎样才能放下自己让神掌权？

Look for Godly Character Evident in Action
在行动中看到敬虔的品格

Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.” “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.
Genesis‬ 24:15-22‬ NIV‬‬

 

话还没有说完，不料，利百加肩头上扛着水瓶出来。利百加是彼土利所生的，彼土利是亚伯拉罕兄弟拿鹤妻子密迦的儿子。那女子容貌极其俊美，还是处女，也未曾有人亲近她。她下到井旁打满了瓶，又上来。仆人跑上前去迎着她说：“求你将瓶里的水给我一点喝。”女子说：“我主请喝。”就急忙拿下瓶来，托在手上给他喝。女子给他喝了，就说：“我再为你的骆驼打水，叫骆驼也喝足。”她就急忙把瓶里的水倒在槽里，又跑到井旁打水，就为所有的骆驼打上水来。那人定睛看她，一句话也不说，要晓得耶和华赐他通达的道路没有。骆驼喝足了，那人就拿一个金环，重半舍客勒，两个金镯，重十舍客勒，给了那女子。
创世纪24：15-22

The servant looked for a woman with godly character. A woman who would serve others, work hard and be hospitable.
仆人想寻找一个有敬虔品格的女人，她乐意服侍他人，勤劳工作并且热心待人。

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies … She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks … She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”
Proverbs 31: 10,17,20 NIV

 

“才德的妇人谁能得着呢？他的价值远胜过珍珠。…他张手周济困苦人．伸手帮补穷乏人。”
箴言31:10,17,20

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题

If you are not yet married what are some important godly characteristics you look for in a future spouse? What are some godly characteristics you can work on developing in your life to make you a better husband or wife? Do your actions, words and reactions to others match godly characteristics?

如果你还未婚，有哪些重要的敬虔品格是你希望未来的配偶能具备的？在你建造自己生命时要着重培养自己哪些敬虔的品格，好使自己成为更好的丈夫或妻子？你的行为、言语以及待人接物符合敬虔的品格吗？

Be Determined Yet Respectful
坚定且尊重

Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?” She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.” Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”
Genesis‬ 24:23-27‬ NIV‬‬

 

说：“请告诉我，你是谁的女儿？你父亲家里有我们住宿的地方没有？”女子说：“我是密迦与拿鹤之子彼土利的女儿。”又说：“我们家里足有粮草，也有住宿的地方。”那人就低头向耶和华下拜，说：“耶和华我主人亚伯拉罕神是应当称颂的，因他不断地以慈爱诚实待我主人。至于我，耶和华在路上引领我，直走到我主人的兄弟家里。
创世纪24：23-27

The servant was determined to pursue Rebekah. He made the first move to talk with her and immediately asked to meet her family. He did not hesitate. Yet at the same time he was respectful of her. He was not pushy. In the end she had a choice if she wanted to return to become Isaac’s wife.

仆人定意要求得利百加，因此他首先去跟她交谈并立即要求见她的家人，没有半点迟疑，同时他也很尊重利百加，没有强人所难。最后，利百加自己做出选择是否愿意跟随仆人回去做以撒的妻子。

The young woman ran and told her mother’s household about these things. Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring. As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. “Come, you who are blessed by the Lord,” he said. “Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.” So the man went to the house, and the camels were unloaded. Straw and fodder were brought for the camels, and water for him and his men to wash their feet. Then food was set before him, but he said, “I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say.” “Then tell us,” Laban said.
Genesis‬ 24:28-33‬ NIV‬‬

 

女子跑回去，照着这些话告诉她母亲和她家里的人。利百加有一个哥哥，名叫拉班，看见金环，又看见金镯在他妹子的手上，并听见他妹子利百加的话，说那人对我如此如此说。拉班就跑出来往井旁去，到那人跟前，见他仍站在骆驼旁边的井旁那里，便对他说：“你这蒙耶和华赐福的，请进来，为什么站在外边？我已经收拾了房屋，也为骆驼预备了地方。”那人就进了拉班的家。拉班卸了骆驼，用草料喂上，拿水给那人和跟随的人洗脚，把饭摆在他面前，叫他吃。他却说：“我不吃，等我说明白我的事情再吃。”拉班说：“请说。”
创世纪24：28-33

It is very attractive to a woman when a man demonstrates he is determined to know her and pursue her and at the same time he respects her and gives her space and opportunity to make her own decisions.

当一个男人坚定地表示自己一定要认识某位女性并且要追求她，同时，这位男人还尊重她且给她空间让她自己做决定，那么对这个女人而言，这个男人就充满了吸引力。

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题

How can a Christian man today show determination in pursuing a woman and show her respect and give her space at the same time?

对于今天的弟兄，他们该如何做既能显示自己要追求一位女性的决心，同时还给她尊重和空间呢？

A Provider Who Is Generous
慷慨的供应者

So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. The Lord has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, male and female servants, and camels and donkeys. My master’s wife Sarah has borne him a son in her old age, and he has given him everything he owns. And my master made me swear an oath, and said, ‘You must not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live, but go to my father’s family and to my own clan, and get a wife for my son.’ “Then I asked my master, ‘What if the woman will not come back with me?’ “He replied, ‘The Lord, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success, so that you can get a wife for my son from my own clan and from my father’s family. You will be released from my oath if, when you go to my clan, they refuse to give her to you—then you will be released from my oath.’ “When I came to the spring today, I said, ‘ Lord, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come. See, I am standing beside this spring. If a young woman comes out to draw water and I say to her, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar,” and if she says to me, “Drink, and I’ll draw water for your camels too,” let her be the one the Lord has chosen for my master’s son.’ “Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ “She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too.’ So I drank, and she watered the camels also. “I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ “She said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel son of Nahor, whom Milkah bore to him.’ “Then I put the ring in her nose and the bracelets on her arms, and I bowed down and worshiped the Lord. I praised the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me on the right road to get the granddaughter of my master’s brother for his son. Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.” Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.”
Genesis‬ 24:34-51‬ NIV‬‬

 

他说：“我是亚伯拉罕的仆人。耶和华大大地赐福给我主人，使他昌大，又赐给他羊群、牛群、金银、仆婢、骆驼和驴。我主人的妻子撒拉年老的时候，给我主人生了一个儿子，我主人也将一切所有的都给了这个儿子。我主人叫我起誓说：‘你不要为我儿子娶迦南地的女子为妻，你要往我父家、我本族那里去，为我的儿子娶一个妻子。’我对我主人说：‘恐怕女子不肯跟我来。’他就说：‘我所侍奉的耶和华必要差遣他的使者与你同去，叫你的道路通达，你就得以在我父家、我本族那里，给我的儿子娶一个妻子。只要你到了我本族那里，我使你起的誓就与你无干；他们若不把女子交给你，我使你起的誓也与你无干。’我今日到了井旁，便说：‘耶和华我主人亚伯拉罕的神啊，愿你叫我所行的道路通达。我如今站在井旁，对哪一个出来打水的女子说：请你把你瓶里的水给我一点喝。她若说：你只管喝，我也为你的骆驼打水。愿那女子就作耶和华给我主人儿子所预定的妻。’我心里的话还没有说完，利百加就出来，肩头上扛着水瓶，下到井旁打水。我便对她说：‘请你给我水喝。’她就急忙从肩头上拿下瓶来，说：‘请喝，我也给你的骆驼喝。’我便喝了；她又给我的骆驼喝了。我问她说：‘你是谁的女儿？’“她说：‘我是密迦与拿鹤之子彼土利的女儿。’我就把环子戴在她鼻子上，把镯子戴在她两手上。随后我低头向耶和华下拜，称颂耶和华我主人亚伯拉罕的神，因为他引导我走合式的道路，使我得着我主人兄弟的孙女，给我主人的儿子为妻。现在你们若愿以慈爱诚实待我主人，就告诉我；若不然，也告诉我，使我可以或向左，或向右。”拉班和彼土利回答说：“这事乃出于耶和华，我们不能向你说好说歹。看哪，利百加在你面前，可以将她带去，照着耶和华所说的，给你主人的儿子为妻。”
创世纪24：34-51

Abraham’s servant was very generous with Rebekah. He made it clear she would be taken care of by her future husband. But the servant was not proud and flashy in his display of wealth. Christian men should demonstrate they will provide for their wife and family, but there is no need to be flashy or proud – or worse – pretend to own something one does not have.

亚伯拉罕的仆人对利百加非常慷慨。他明确地说她未来的丈夫会好好照顾她。但仆人并没有骄傲或急于显示自己的财富。基督徒男人们应该显示自己会供养妻子或家庭，但没必要炫富或自傲，甚至更糟–假装拥有自己没有的东西。

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题

Is there a way modern men can show a woman he can provide for her without having to own a car, an apartment and a high-level job? How can he show a woman he is hard working and will care for her needs?

对于现在的男士来说，即使没有车、房或高薪的工作，怎样可以向他追求的对象显示自己能供养她呢？如何告诉对方自己会努力工作并且会照顾她？

When Abraham’s servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord. Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother. Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there. When they got up the next morning, he said, “Send me on my way to my master.” But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the young woman remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.” But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.” Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said. So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies.” Then Rebekah and her attendants got ready and mounted the camels and went back with the man. So the servant took Rebekah and left.
Genesis‬ 24:52-61‬ NIV‬‬

 

亚伯拉罕的仆人听见他们这话，就向耶和华俯伏在地。当下仆人拿出金器、银器和衣服送给利百加，又将宝物送给她哥哥和她母亲。仆人和跟从他的人吃了喝了，住了一夜。早晨起来，仆人就说：“请打发我回我主人那里去吧！”利百加的哥哥和她母亲说：“让女子同我们再住几天，至少十天，然后她可以去。”仆人说：“耶和华既赐给我通达的道路，你们不要耽误我，请打发我走，回我主人那里去吧！”他们说：“我们把女子叫来问问她”，就叫了利百加来问她说：“你和这人同去吗？”利百加说：“我去。”于是，他们打发妹子利百加和她的乳母，同亚伯拉罕的仆人，并跟从仆人的，都走了。他们就给利百加祝福说：“我们的妹子啊，愿你作千万人的母！愿你的后裔得着仇敌的城门！”利百加和她的使女们起来，骑上骆驼，跟着那仆人，仆人就带着利百加走了。
创世纪24：52-61

Give Glory to God
荣耀归給神

The servant was not proud he found the right woman. He immediately gave glory to God.
仆人并没有因自己找到对的女子而自豪，他很快地将荣耀归給 神。

Honor the Family
尊荣对方的家庭

The servant was respectful of Rebekah’s family. He honored them with his words and actions.
仆人非常尊重利百加的家人，从对他们的言语和行动中都可以体现出来。

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

Why do you think it is important for a man to demonstrate to a woman’s family his honor and respect of them?
一个男人表现出对女方家庭的重视和尊重为什么很重要呢？

Time with the Lord
亲近主的时间

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.
Genesis‬ 24:62-65‬ NIV‬‬

 

天将晚，以撒出来在田间默想，举目一看，见来了些骆驼。利百加举目看见以撒，就急忙下了骆驼，问那仆人说：“这田间走来迎接我们的是谁？”仆人说：“是我的主人。”利百加就拿帕子蒙上脸。
创世纪24：62-65

When Isaac first saw Rebekah in the distance he was meditating in the fields. Time spent meditating on God’s Word and on the Lord is time well spent. It is an excellent preparation for becoming a husband and father. Seeking God is the best preparation for marriage and the best way for a man to become a better husband towards his wife.

以撒从远处初次见到利百加时，他正在田间默想。花时间默想主的话语是很值得的，能帮助他预备自己成为一个优秀的丈夫和父亲。寻求 神是进入婚姻的最好预备，也是预备一个男人成为更好的丈夫的最佳方式。

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matthew 6:33 NIV

 

“你们要先求他的国和他的义，这些东西都要加给你们了。”
马太福音6:33

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

What are some ways a modern man can meditate on God’s Word and seek God? How has doing these behaviors impacted your life?
现代男人们可以做什么去默想 神的话语和寻求 神？做这些事会如何影响你的生命？

Love Your Wife
爱你的妻子

Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
Genesis‬ 24:66-67‬ NIV‬‬

 

仆人就将所办的一切事都告诉以撒。以撒便领利百加进了他母亲撒拉的帐棚，娶了她为妻，并且爱她。以撒自从他母亲不在了，这才得了安慰。
创世纪24：66-67

It says very simply and sweetly that Isaac loved his wife Rebekah. This is something the Bible calls all husbands to do. To love their wives as Christ has loved the church. This is a sacrificial kind of love focused on giving more than receiving.

圣经上简单且甜蜜地记载以撒爱他的妻子利百加。这也是圣经让所有的丈夫们去做的事-要爱自己妻子，如同基督爱教会。这是一种牺牲的爱，专注于付出而非接受。

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

 

“爱是恒久忍耐、又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒；爱是不自夸，不张狂，不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。”
哥林多前书 13:4-7

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

If you are married what are some ways in 1 Corinthians you can demonstrate love to your wife or husband? If you are not yet married what areas of love do you feel you need to develop?

如果你已婚，根据哥林多前书，你还可以做哪些去向你的丈夫或妻子展示你的爱？如果你未婚，你觉得自己还要培养哪些方面的爱？

How to Find a Husband
如何寻找一位丈夫

Looking at Rebekah’s actions in this story let’s take a look at what a Christian woman can do to find a godly husband.
看着故事里利百加的言行， 让我们学习一下基督徒女性该怎样寻找一个敬虔的丈夫。

Diligently Serve
殷勤服侍

Rebekah was not afraid of hard work. Watering all of Abraham’s servants’ camels would have taken many trips to the well. She was quick to offer the help and diligently and efficiently worked. Her desire to serve was obvious through her actions and she looked for ways to meet the needs of others.

利百加不惧怕工作辛劳。喂水给亚伯拉罕所有仆人的骆驼需要往返水井许多次。她迅速主动地提出帮忙，且殷勤有效率地做工。从她的行为可以明显看出，她愿意服侍别人，而且想方设法去满足别人的需求。

The servant observed her closely as she moved quickly to get the job done. A woman who is focused on others’ needs rather than her own is attractive.

利百加在迅速完成工作时，仆人也在一旁密切观察她。她是一个关心别人需求胜过展示个人魅力的女性。

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 NIV

 

“她观察家务，并不吃闲饭。”
箴言31:27

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

What are some ways you can intentionally meet the needs of others? Do you have time and ability to serve? If not, what changes can you make to your lifestyle so you can meet others’ needs?

我们可以做哪些事情去满足他人的需要？有时间和能力去服侍吗？如果没有，你可以怎样改变自己的生活方式以满足他人的需要？

A Life of Purity
纯洁的生活

The Bible made it clear Rebekah was a virgin and it goes even so far as to elaborate and say she had never slept with a man. God’s plan for godly relationships between men and women saves sexual relations for the marriage. As Christians seek to develop godly marriages and families it begins for both women and men by saving sex for marriage.

圣经清楚地说利百加是一个处女，甚至进一步阐明她未曾与男人亲近。在男女建立的敬虔关系中， 神的计划是将性关系是属于婚姻的。当基督徒寻求建立敬虔婚姻和家庭时，男人和女人都要将自己的贞洁保留直到进入婚姻。

Inner Beauty
内在美

It was noted Rebekah was very beautiful. The New Testament gives a lovely description of godly beauty for a Christian woman. Physical beauty fades over time, but inner beauty will grow.

圣经上还记载利百加容貌极其俊美。新约也对基督徒女性的美丽做了一个可爱的描述。外在的美会随着时间的流逝渐渐逝去，但内在美却会不断增长。

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

 

“你们不要以外面的辫头发，戴金饰，穿美衣为妆饰，只要以里面存着长久温柔、安静的心为妆饰；这在 神面前是极宝贵的。”
彼得前书3:3-4

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

How can you develop the beauty of your inner self?
你该如何建立你的内在美呢？

Look for Opportunities and be Responsive
寻找机会，积极回应

When Rebekah saw the servant at the well she did not shy away from him. She responded to his questions and also quickly welcomed him home. Christian women can look for opportunities to meet Christian men and when a man shows interest she can respond and not shy away.

当利百加在井旁看到仆人时，她没有害羞地躲开，而是积极回答了他的问题，并且欢迎他到家里去。基督徒女性可以寻求遇见基督徒男性的机会，当男生显示出他感兴趣时，她能正面回应而不是害羞逃开。

Honor the Family
尊重家庭

Rebekah honored her family, she received their advice and encouragement and went with their blessing. Family relationships can be difficult, but as we honor our families they will be blessed and want to be a positive influence on our lives. Our parents and other elders can encourage us, give us advice and help us find our path in life. Even if other family members are not Christians, there are ways we can honor them.

利百加尊重自己的家庭，她听取了家人的意见和鼓励，带着他们的祝福出嫁了。处理好家庭关系有时很困难，但是当我们尊重自己的家人时，他们也会蒙福且愿意在我们的生命中发挥积极的影响。我们的父母和其他的长辈既能鼓励我们给我们建议，也能帮我们找到人生的方向。即使有些家庭成员 不是基督徒，我们也有一些其他方式表达对他们的尊重。

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

What are some ways you can honor your parents and elders in your marriage or future marriage?
在你的婚姻或未来婚姻里，你可以如何尊重你的父母和长辈？

Trust In God’s Plan
相信神的计划

Rebekah trusted in God’s plan. With courage and trust in God she left her family to begin her new life as the wife of Isaac. Life changes can be scary, but when we purpose to follow God’s plan we can have confidence. He will show us the way.

利百加相信 神的计划，带着勇气和对 神的信任，她离开自己的家庭，开始了身为以撒妻子的新生活。生活中的一些改变有时会令人恐惧，但当我们定意跟随 神的计划时，我们就有信心相信 神会指示我们当走的路。

“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

 

“你要专心仰赖耶和华，不可倚靠自己的聪明，在你一切所行的事上都要认定他，他必指引你的路。”
箴言 3:5-6

While You Are Waiting
等候期间

If you are not yet married this is a special time in your life to focus on God’s work. Single people have a unique opportunity to devote their time, energy and resources into the Kingdom of God. Once married, men and women must devote more time to developing their marriage relationship, serving one another and raising a family.

如果你还未婚，那么此时就是你生命中的一个特殊时刻，可以让自己专注于 神的工作。单身的人有特别的机会，可以将自己的时间、精力和资源委身给 神的国度。进入婚姻后，男女双方都需要花更多的时间来建立婚姻关系，彼此服侍以及照顾家庭。

Those who are looking for a marriage partner sometimes wish for marriage and lament their single status. The Apostle Paul encourages single people to be excited about their ability to serve the Lord and be devoted wholly to him.

那些尚在寻求婚姻伴侣的人有时会期待婚姻，为他们单身的状态忧伤。使徒保罗鼓励单身的弟兄姐妹要以自己能全身心服侍主而欢喜快乐。

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 NIV

 

“我愿你们无所挂虑。没有娶妻的，是为主的事挂虑，想怎样叫主喜悦。娶了妻的，是为世上的事挂虑，想怎样叫妻子喜悦。妇人和处女也有分别。没有出嫁的，是为主的事挂虑，要身体、灵魂都圣洁；已经出嫁的，是为世上的事挂虑，想怎样叫丈夫喜悦。”
哥林多前书 7:32-34

• Question to Consider:
  思考问题：

If you are not yet married is your aim to be devoted to the Lord? How can you take advantage of this time as a single person?
如果你还未婚，你现在的目标是委身主吗？你该如何利用这段单身的时光？

Ultimately, your life is in God’s hands. He will lead you to marriage and your marriage partner if this is His will for your life. He is a loving God who knows you better than you know yourself, you can trust Him. Bring to Him your future in prayer. Give Him your cares, fears, hopes and dreams and know that His will is the best will for your life.

最后得说，你的 生命在神的手中。如果是祂对你生活的旨意，祂会带你遇见你的人生伴侣并进入婚姻。神是爱，祂更了解你，你可以信靠祂。在祷告中把你的未来带到祂面前。将你的顾虑、惧怕、盼望和梦想交给祂，要明白祂对你生命的旨意是最好的。