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Love is your first experience in life and you hope it to be your last. Upon entering the world you are surrounded by love. This is how you hope your final days will be spent as well. If you do not have love, what do you have? What would be different about your life if you received more love? If you gave more love?
我们出生时，爱是你人生中的第一份体验，也许你希望人生的最后一刻也能这样被爱紧紧包裹。如果你没有爱，你还有什么呢？如果你生命中能感知到更多的爱，你的生命会有怎样的不同？ 如果你可以给与更多的爱呢？
An ancient definition of love
一个古老的爱的定义
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV
爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒；爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。爱是永不止息。
哥林多前书 13:4-8a 和合本
What part of this definition of love can you identify with? Do you agree with the statement, “love never fails”?
这个关于爱的定义中你认同哪个部分？你同意“爱是永不止息”吗？
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
盖瑞·查普曼《爱的五种语言》
Gary Chapman begins his best-selling book The 5 Love Languages by claiming that every person has a love-tank. He explains that every person has a love tank that gets filled up before it can pour out. Meaning, you need to have some love stored up inside of you to best express love to others. Each person’s love tank is filled in unique ways according to the way each person feels loved. If your love tank is empty, you are low on love and which makes it difficult to share love with others.
盖瑞·查普曼在他的畅销书《爱的五种语言》开篇就讲到，每个人都有一个爱箱。他解释说每个人的爱箱唯有先填补满才能倾流出。意思是，你需要内心先储存一些爱，才能对他人更好的表达爱。每个人的爱箱以其所能感受到的爱的独特方式来填满。如果你的爱箱空了，爱的能量处于低位，使得你很难与他人分享爱。
Gary Chapman writes that there are 5 basic “love languages” that we use to express love to each other. Issues in relationship arise when friends, relatives, coworkers and lovers do not speak our unique love language. If two partners speak different love languages and don’t realize it, there is a risk of one or both not feeling that they are receiving the love they desire.
盖瑞·查普曼写道，我们用来相互表达爱的语言基本上有五种。当朋友、亲戚、同事和爱人不用我们特有的爱语沟通表达时，关系就会出现问题。如果双方说着不同的爱的语言，并且没有意识到这一点，其中的一方或双方就有可能感觉不到其所期待接收到的爱。
Therefore, if we really want to love someone well, we should learn to speak their love language.
因此，如果我们真的想爱一个人，就应该学会说他们的爱的语言。
The Five Love Languages
爱的五种语言
There are many languages in the world. In order to clearly verbally communicate with another person, you must be able to speak their language. If a Chinese speaker talks to a foreigner who doesn’t understand Chinese, the Chinese speaker can talk all day but the foreigner will never receive the meaning of the words – there is no communication.
世界上有很多种语言。为了与他人进行清晰地口头交流，你必须会说他们的语言。如果一位讲中文的人跟一位不懂中文的外国人说话，讲中文的人可以说上一整天，但外国人永远也听不懂中文的意思，这样就没有沟通。
Love is the same way. We all give and receive love in different ways. Author Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages describes five ways we all give and receive love.
爱也一样。我们都以不同的方式给予和接受爱。作家盖瑞·查普曼在他《爱的五种语言》一书中描述了我们给予和接受爱的五种方法。
Physical Touch
身体的接触
Cultures have different ways of showing love through physical touch. Europeans kiss each other when they greet, Americans hug and Chinese shake hands. Chinese friends may hold hands or link arms as they are walking down the street together. However it looks, we all need it – some warm loving touches from a friend or family member. Love can be shown through a warm touch such as a hug, pat on the back or high five.
不同的文化有不同的通过身体接触来表达爱的方式。欧洲人彼此问候时亲吻对方，美国人拥抱，中国人握手。中国朋友可能会牵手或挽臂一起走在街上。无论看起来如何，我们都需要它—来自朋友或家人的一些温暖的爱的接触。爱可以通过一个温暖的触摸来表达，比如拥抱，轻拍后背或击掌。
Touch is not just something that feels good, it is something that we need. Doctors have studied babies who do not receive the touch and love they need and they have discovered that these children are underdeveloped physically and mentally.
触摸不只是让人感觉良好，也是我们所需要的。医生对那些没有得到他们需要的触摸和爱的婴儿进行了研究，发现这些孩子在生理和心理上都发育不全。
Words of Affirmation
肯定的言辞
Words of affirmation do not have to be eloquent but they must be sincere. The more specific the words, the more powerful they can be. They can be spoken words or hand written.
肯定的言辞不一定要口才好，但一定要真诚。表达越具体，就越有力量。口头或手写都可以。
Your words are powerful and can express love. Words of affirmation must be specific and positive. An example would be, “Jimmy, it makes me so happy to see how you are sharing your toys with Charlie.” Or “I love the way you helped me feel included at the party yesterday, you are a very good friend!” Some examples of words that are not considered expressions of love would be, “Thomas, good job!” This is too general. “Lisa, I love your cute outfit! You look pretty!” Hopefully Lisa would know that she is loved not just because she is attractive.
你的话语是有感染力的，能够表达爱。肯定的言辞应当是具体并积极正面的。举个例子：“我很高兴看到你和查理分享你的玩具。” 或者 “ 奥普，我喜欢你昨天帮助我融入派对的方式，你是个很好的朋友！“ 有些话语则不被视为爱的表达。比如，”托马斯，干得好！“ 这太笼统了。” 丽萨，我喜欢你漂亮的衣服，你看上去真美！“ 但愿丽萨知道她被爱不仅仅是因为她有吸引力。
Quality Time
精心的时刻
Quality time means one-on-one time together interacting in a meaningful way. Quality time does not have to be quantity time. But it does have to be intentional. Going out for a meal, taking a walk in the park, chatting on the sofa are all examples of quality time. The important part of quality time is that it is individual attention.
精心时刻意味着一对一在一起，用有意义的方式进行互动的时光。精心时刻不在量多，而在刻意为之。一起出去吃饭、在公园散步、在沙发上聊天都是精心时刻。重点在于个体的关注。
Acts of Service
服务的行动
When we take time to help others, this is an expression of love. It can be patiently tying a shoe of a child or helping a friend move to a new apartment. Serving in a selfless manner, not requiring anything in return is a powerful demonstration of love.
当我们花时间帮助他人，就是一种爱的表达。比如：耐心帮孩子系鞋带，或帮朋友搬新家。无私的服务，不求任何回报，是爱的有力证明。
Receiving Gifts
接受礼物
A gift, ever so small can express true love. A gift does not have to be large, but it must be thoughtful. Cards, presents or even treating someone to a meal can make them feel very loved and thought of.
一份礼物，再小也能表达真爱。礼物不必大，但一定要周到。贺卡、礼品甚至请人吃饭，都能让他们感到被爱和被惦记。
Knowing your love language and the love language of others
了解你和他人爱的语言
All people have a love language that they prefer to use. To one person gifts may be no big deal but quality time is the way they really can feel love. Another person craves physical touch as an expression of love but acts of service are not received as love. Each person has their own love language. We must therefore understand one another and show love in many different ways to those who are in our lives.
所有人都有自己喜欢使用的爱的语言。对一个人来说，礼物可能不算什么，但精心的时刻是他们真正感受到爱的方式。另一个人渴望身体接触作为爱的表达，但服务的行动不被视为爱。每个人都有自己爱的语言。因此，我们需要相互理解，并以许多不同的方式向我们生命中的人表达爱。
Take the quiz to discover your love language
参加测试来发现你的爱的语言
Select the one you prefer most of the two options, the one that fits the best right now.
选出两个选项中你最喜欢，目前最适合你的那项
#1
A: I like to receive notes of affirmation.
我喜欢收到肯定的评语。
E: I like to be hugged.
我喜欢被拥抱。
#2
B: I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me.
我愿意和对我来说很特别的人单独待在一起。
D: I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me.
当别人给我实际的帮助时，我感到被爱。
#3
C: I like it when people give me gifts.
我喜欢别人送礼物给我。
B: I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones.
我喜欢悠闲地拜访朋友和所爱的人。
#4
D: I feel loved when people do things to help me.
当别人做一些事情来帮助我时，我感到被爱。
E: I feel loved when people touch me.
当别人触摸我时，我感到被爱。
#5
E: I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts his or her arms around me.
当我所爱或欣赏的人拥抱我时，我感到被爱。
C: I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I love or admire.
当我所爱或欣赏的人送我礼物时，我感到被爱。
#6
B: I like to go places with friends and loved ones.
我喜欢和朋友或所爱的人一起出行。
E: I like to high-five or hold hands with people who are special to me.
我喜欢和对我来说很特别的人击掌或牵手。
#7
C: Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.
爱的视觉象征（礼物）对我来说很重要。
E: I feel loved when people affirm me.
当我得到别人支持时，我感到被爱。
#8
E: I like to sit close to people whom I enjoy being around.
我喜欢坐在我喜欢的人近旁。
A: I like for people to tell me I am beautiful/handsome.
我喜欢别人说我很漂亮或帅气。
#9
B: I like to spend time with friends and loved ones.
我喜欢和朋友或所爱的人共度时光。
C: I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones.
我喜欢收到朋友或所爱的人送的小礼物。
#10
A: Words of acceptance are important to me.
接纳的言语对我来说很重要。
D: I know someone loves me when he or she helps me.
当别人帮助我时，我知道他们是爱我的。
#11
B: I like being together and doing things with friends and loved ones.
我喜欢和朋友或所爱的人待在一起和做事。
A: I like it when kind words are spoken to me.
我喜欢别人对我说亲切的话语。
#12
D: What someone does affects me more than what he or she says.
别人所做的要比所说的对我的影响更大。
E: Hugs make me feel connected and valued.
拥抱让我觉得连接和被重视。
#13
A: I value praise and try to avoid criticism.
我重视表扬，尽量避免批评。
C: Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift.
几个小礼物的意义对我来说超过一个大礼物。
#14
B: I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together.
当我们在一起聊天或做事时，我感觉和某人很亲近。
E: I feel closer to friends and loved ones when they touch me often.
当朋友或所爱的人经常触摸我时，我会感到更加亲近。
#15
A: I like for people to compliment my achievements.
我喜欢别人称赞我的成就。
D: I know people love me when they do things for me that they don’t enjoy doing.
当有人为了我做一些他们不喜欢做的事情时，我知道他们是爱我的。
#16
E: I like to be touched as friends and loved ones walk by.
当有朋友或所爱的人从身边走过，我喜欢被他们触摸。
B: I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I am saying.
我喜欢别人听我说话，并对我所说的内容表现出真正的兴趣.
#17
D: I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects.
当有朋友或所爱的人在工作上或其它事情上给我帮助时，我感到被爱。
C: I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones.
我非常喜欢从朋友或所爱的人那里接受礼物。
#18
A: I like for people to compliment my appearance.
我喜欢别人称赞我的外表。
B: I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings.
当别人花时间来理解我的感受时，我感到被爱。
#19
E: I feel secure when a special person is touching me.
当一个对我来说很特别的人触摸我的时候，我觉得有安全感。
D: Acts of service make me feel loved.
服务的行为让我感到被爱。
#20
D: I appreciate the many things that special people do for me.
我感激对我来说很特别的人为我做的事情。
C: I like receiving gifts that special people make for me.
我喜欢对我来说很特别的人送给我礼物。
#21
B: I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention.
当有人全神贯注地关注我时，我很享受那种感觉。
D: I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone helps me make decisions.
当有人帮助我做决定时，我很享受那种感觉。
#22
C: I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift.
当一个人送礼物为我庆祝生日时，我感到被爱。
A: I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words.
当一个人用有意义的话语庆祝我的生日时，我感到被爱。
#23
C: I know a person is thinking of me when he or she gives me a gift.
当他/她送我一份礼物时，我知道有人在想着我。
D: I feel loved when a person helps with my chores.
当有人帮助我做家务时，我感到被爱。
#24
B: I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me.
当有人耐心地倾听并不打断我的谈话时，我很感激。
C: I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift.
当有人记得特殊的日子并送我礼物时，我很感激。
#25
D: I like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.
我喜欢所爱的人对我每天的工作有足够的关心并帮助我。
B: I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me.
我喜欢和对我来说很特别的人一起长途旅行。
#26
E: I enjoy kissing or being kissed by people with whom I am close.
我喜欢和自己亲近的人亲吻。
C: I enjoy receiving a gift given for no special reason.
我喜欢无缘无故地收到礼物。
#27
A: I like to be told that I am appreciated.
我喜欢别人告诉我，他们很欣赏我。
B: I like for a person to look at me when we are talking.
当我们在交谈时，我喜欢对方看着我。
#28
C: Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me.
朋友或所爱的人送的礼物对我来说都很特别。
E: I feel good when a friend or loved one touches me.
当朋友或所爱的人触摸我时，我感觉很好。
#29
D: I feel good when a special person enthusiastically does some task I have requested.
当一个特别的人热情地做着我交办的任务时，我感觉很好。
A: I feel loved when I am told how much I am needed.
当有人告诉我有多么需要我时，我感到被爱。
#30
E: I need to be touched every day.
我每天都需要被触摸。
A: I need words of encouragement daily.
我每天都需要鼓励的言语。
—
Total up each letter to see what Love Language you prefer.
将每个字母加总起来，看看你喜欢哪种爱的语言
A: Words of Affirmation
肯定的言辞
B: Quality Time
精心的时刻
C: Receiving Gifts
接受礼物
D: Acts of Service
服务的行动
E: Physical Touch
身体的接触
Are you surprised at what your love language is? Take the next step and ask the people closest to you to take the test and discover new ways to fill up one another’s love tank with purposeful and powerful love.
你对自己的爱的语言感到惊讶吗？迈出下一步，让你最亲近的人参加测试，发现新的方法，用有目的和强大的爱来装满彼此的爱箱。
