This Spiritual Waimai is a part of a series entitled Mission Accomplished: the mission of Jesus Christ as told by Matthew and now lived out by you and me.
这篇属灵外卖是“完成的使命”系列文章之一，这个由马太福音所述耶稣基督的使命，现在要由你我活出来。
中文和英文版本语音
Listen to the Chinese or English Audio
Is marriage too hard?
经营婚姻非常困难吗？
The Test
试探
The Pharisees found a moment to test with a controversial issue. Have you ever had a friend or family member test your faith with a controversy? How do you handle a tough question?
法利赛人混在人群中伺机用一个有争议的话题来试探Yesu。曾否有朋友或家人以有争议的问题来试探你的信仰？你如何回答棘手的问题？
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:3-6 NIV
有法利赛人来试探Yesu说：“人无论什么缘故都可以休妻吗？”Yesu回答说：“那起初造人的，是造男造女，并且说：‘因此，人要离开父母，与妻子连合，二人成为一体。’这经你们没有念过吗？既然如此，夫妻不再是两个人，乃是一体的了。所以，Shen配合的，人不可分开。”
马太福音 19:3-6
It seems that divorce has been a controversial and difficult issue for thousands of years. It was so controversial then that John the Baptist lost his life over it. This question does not go out of style. It is a serious situation that modern people face just as much as ancient people – how to keep a faithful and healthy marriage.
数千年来，离婚似乎一直是一个有争议且难处理的问题。它极具争议，施洗约翰甚至因此丢了性命。这一问题并未过时。跟古时的人一样，这也是现代人要面对的一个严肃的课题—-如何维持一段忠贞且健康的婚姻。
In these few sentences, Jesus spoke some ancient truths about marriage that still stand today in our modern world. He did not come up some new opinions or commentary on how marriage should be in the current culture. His answer came from the ancient scriptures. He used God’s Word and God’s original design of marriage to answer this tricky question.
Yesu用聊聊数语道出了关于婚姻的古老真理，这真理在当今现代的世界中依然适用。祂并没提出什么新点子或新评论，认为在现行的文化中婚姻应该是怎样的。祂的答案源自古老的经文。祂用Shen的话和Shen最初关于婚姻的设计来回答这一狡猾的问题。
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- At the beginning of time, God created men and women different from each other.
- Men are to leave their birth family and create a new family with their wife. Upon becoming adults, men shall rise up to lead their own families rather than depend on their parents.
- The man and woman are to be united, equal and different parts coming together to become one person.
- The couple becomes a new unit and should not be separated.
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- 起初，Shen创造男人和女人，他们彼此不同。
- 人要离开自己的生身原生家庭，跟妻子组建新的家庭。成年男子要负起责任带领自己的家庭，而不是依然依赖其父母。
- 男人和女人要联合起来成为一个人，地位平等，分工不同。
- 夫妻要成为一体，不可分开。
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The answer Jesus gave was looking at how God intended things to be. Not how they were. The Pharisees were not satisfied with His answer and quickly brought up Moses to either trap Jesus or defend their own opinion that divorce was ok.
Yesu回答时考虑的是Shen的意图，而非现实中的状况。法利赛人不满意祂的回答。他们立刻提起摩西，或者是要抓Yesu的把柄，或者是要维护他们的观点，认为离婚没问题。
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:7-9 NIV
法利赛人说：“这样，摩西为什么吩咐给妻子休书，就可以休她呢？”Yesu说：“摩西因为你们的心硬，所以许你们休妻，但起初并不是这样。我告诉你们：凡休妻另娶的，若不是为淫乱的缘故，就是犯奸淫了；有人娶那被休的妇人，也是犯奸淫了。”
马太福音19:7-9
The Pharisees brought up one of the laws from Moses that permitted divorce. But Jesus’ answer had already covered this. When He said, “Haven’t you read, in the beginning…” The beginning came far before Moses. God’s original plan for marriage did not change. Jesus then pointed out that it was the hard-heartedness of people that pushed Moses to give them a means to legally end marriages. Moses’ law actually protected women – before this, men would just abandon their wives leaving them with no way to legally move on with their lives. So the divorce certificate might not have been permission for the men but actually protection for the women.
法利赛人提起摩西的律法，其中一条许可离婚。但Yesu已经回答了这个问题。祂说:”你们难道没有读过，起初。。。“起初远早于摩西的时代。Shen最初对婚姻的计划没有更改。然后Yesu指出是因为人的心地刚硬，摩西才被迫给他们一条出路，使他们可以合法地终止婚姻。摩西的律法实际上保护了妇女，在此之前，男人可以随意抛弃妻子，使她们无法合法地维持生计。所以休书未必是许可男人休妻，却实际上是对妇女们的保护。
Jesus pointed out the root problem of this controversial issue. It was a hard heart. Can you imagine a hard heart in marriage? Stubborn, unkind, unfaithful, unloving, cold, unresponsive. If the heart becomes hard in marriage, what can be done?
Yesu指出了争议的症结所在—-刚硬的心。你能想像一下如果在婚姻中硬着心肠会是怎么样吗？固执、不友善、不忠实、缺乏爱心、冷酷、冷漠。如果心变得刚硬，还能做什么呢？
If someone finds themselves with a hard heart in marriage, it is time to remember Jesus’ words. What was the original intention of marriage? That two people would become one flesh and build a new family. A heart can be changed, but it must be willing to be changed and Jesus is the one who can make a hard heart soft again.
若发觉自己对配偶的心刚硬，那么就该记住Yesu的话了。设立婚姻最初的意图是什么？是二人成为一体而组建一个新家庭。心是可以改变的，Yesu可以使刚硬的心再次变得柔软，但人必须愿意改变。
Jesus’ disciples had been listening to this conversation with much interest and at the end decided that if marriage truly must last a lifetime, it would be just too hard.
Yesu的门徒对这场对话很感兴趣，一直在聆听，他们最后认为婚姻确实必须持守终生，只是实在太难了。
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Matthew 1019:10-12 NIV
门徒对Yesu说：“人和妻子既是这样，倒不如不娶。”Yesu说：“这话不是人都能领受的，惟独赐给谁，谁才能领受。因为有生来是阉人，也有被人阉的，并有为天国的缘故自阉的。这话谁能领受，就可以领受。”
马太福音19:10-12
It is true, marriage is hard. So is the single life. Jesus actually said that the single life is best for some people, but this is also a hard life. He mentioned three kinds of people – those who biologically are not able to reproduce, those who have been medically changed (in ancient times, the king would sometimes castrate servants especially those who oversaw all of the wives and concubines in a harem) and those who have chosen to live a single life to serve in God’s kingdom. Whether single or married, this area of our lives can be difficult, but it is possible to live a godly life as a faithfully married person and as a single person as well.
经营婚姻困难重重是事实。单身生活也是如此。Yesu其实说过有些人最好单身，尽管也很困难。祂提到三种人。一种人是生理上不能生育；一种是因医疗措施而改变的人（在古时候，皇帝会阉割监管后宫妃嫔们的太监们）；另一种人则是为了在Shen的国中服侍而选择单身。单身或婚姻生活都可能非常艰辛。但无论是忠贞的已婚人士或单身人士，都可能过圣洁的生活。
This discussion with Jesus, the Pharisees and disciples got a little uncomfortable at the end and it seems that the disciples began to wonder if marriage was a good thing or not. Just then, some families approached Jesus with their children and the disciples did not like it. But Jesus loved it.
法利赛人和门徒后来对跟Yesu的这场对话都觉得有些不舒服，门徒好像开始怀疑婚姻到底是好还是不好。就在那会儿，有人带着孩子来到Yesu那里，门徒不喜欢这样。但Yesu却心里欢喜。
Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
Matthew 19-13-15 NIV
那时，有人带着小孩子来见Yesu，要Yesu给他们按手Daogao，门徒就责备那些人。Yesu说：“让小孩子到我这里来，不要禁止他们，因为在天国的，正是这样的人。”Yesu给他们按手，就离开那地方去了。
马太福音19:13-15
This controversial discussion came to an end with the interruption of children. The disciples were irritated with these little people but Jesus called them to Himself. I wonder if as He blessed these children, He thanked God for the families, and the marriages that produced these wonderful little lives. I can’t help but think Jesus was delighted with this beautiful image. After the uncomfortable discussion about marriage and the disciples and Pharisees doubts about the value of marriage – here came the fruit of faithful marriages – children. Children who were the future generation and a reminder that God’s kingdom belongs to those with childlike faith.
孩子们的到来打断了这场颇具争议的讨论。门徒们对这些小孩子表示不耐烦，但Yesu把孩子们叫到自己跟前。我猜想在祝福这些孩子时，祂也为了家庭和生育这些美好、年幼生命的婚姻而感谢Shen。关于婚姻的讨论让人不舒服。讨论过后，门徒和法利赛人甚至怀疑婚姻的价值，但孩子们，忠贞婚姻的结晶，就在眼前。孩子们是未来的一代，他们也提醒我们Shen的国归给有孩童般信心的人。
Marriage is hard, marriage is valuable
婚姻不易经营，但非常宝贵
How can you have a life-long faithful marriage? It begins by choosing wisely who your marriage partner will be.
怎样才能拥有厮守一生、忠贞不渝的婚姻？它始于明智地选择你的婚姻伴侣。
1. Look for a spouse in the family of God在Shen的家中寻找配偶
God makes it clear that Christians should marry others who also believe in Jesus Christ. If Jesus is the center of your life, He should also be the center of your marriage. Therefore, do not look outside of the family of God for your match.
Shen讲得很清楚，基督徒应该跟同样相信仰耶稣基督的人结婚。如果Yesu是你生命的中心，祂同样应该是你婚姻的中心。所以不要在Shen家以外寻找伴侣。
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NIV
你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭。义和不义有什么相交呢？光明和黑暗有什么相通呢？基督和彼列（彼列就是撒但的别名）有什么相和呢？信主的和不信主的有什么相干呢？
哥林多后书 6:14-15
2. Ask for help请求帮助
Ask Christian friends to introduce you to their friends. Be bold to let older spiritual brothers and sisters know that you are looking for a godly partner and ask them to help you. When you meet someone that interests you, introduce them to your spiritual mentors. Ask mentors for their feedback and especially their prayers. Do the authorities in your life such as parents, pastors, mentors think that this person is a good match for you?
请基督徒朋友把你介绍给他们的朋友们。要有勇气让年长属灵的弟兄姐妹知道 你在找寻属Shen的伴侣，请他们帮你。遇到有意的人时，把他们介绍给你属灵的导师认识，问问他们的意见，特别要请他们帮你Daogao。你生命里的有权柄的人，比如父母、牧师和导师觉得这个人适合你吗？
Whenever I have been in a serious relationship, I have always involved my parents and my spiritual mentors. I value their opinion and rely on them to help me better understand the relationship. For I know that when we are in romantic relationships, sometimes our vision is a little blurred by infatuation. I have always taken their advice seriously, even if it is not what I wanted to hear!
每逢在一段严肃的关系中时，我都会考虑父母和属灵导师们的意见。我重视他们的意见，并依靠他们来帮助我更好地理解这段关系。因为我知道，在恋爱时，有时我们因为迷恋对方而看不清楚。我总是认真对待他们的建议，就算有时并不顺耳。
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Proverbs 19:20 NIV
你要听劝教，受训诲，使你终久有智慧。
箴言19:20 和合本
3. Get to know someone’s true character了解对方的真实个性
When you meet new people, be open minded. Don’t make a quick decision to say no to someone before you really get to know them. At the same time, if there is someone you are interested in, don’t let your imagination take over and create a picture in your mind of what you think this person is like or what your fairytale future might be with them. Instead, get to know the truth about people you meet by carefully observing their actions and note the kinds of relationships they have with their family members and friends. This will tell you a lot about what is in the heart of the person you are admiring.
认识新朋友时，要保持开放的心态。在真正了解一个人之前，不要匆忙拒绝。同样的，如果你对一个人感兴趣，不要让想象牵着鼻子走，在心里想象这人应该是什么样的，或者与这人在一起童话般的未来该是什么样的。相反，要仔细观察他们的行为，注意他们与家人和朋友之间的关系，以了解真实情况。这会告诉你很多关于你所恋慕的人 内心深处的情况。
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b NIV
“因为，耶和华不像人看人：人是看外貌；耶和华是看内心。”
撒母耳记上16:7 和合本
4. Sincerely seek the Lord诚挚追寻主
Take time to seriously fast and pray. Ask the Lord to bring His choice of a partner to you. Also, ask Him to open your eyes and heart to His choice. When you meet someone that you are interested in, guard your heart and ask God to lead you step by step. Do not depend on small signs such as, “If God does this, then I know this is the man I will marry!” or “If she says this, then she will be my wife!” These small signs are nothing to base a huge decision on. Rather, diligently seek the Lord over time and ask for His clear and peaceful revelation.
花时间认真禁食Daogao。求主将祂所选择的伴侣带给你。同样的，让祂开你的眼和心去接受祂的选择。当你遇到一个感兴趣的人，保守你的心，求Shen一步一步带领你。不要依靠一些小的征兆，比如“如果Shen这么做，那么我就知道这是我要嫁的男人！” 或“如果她这么说，那这就是我要娶的妻子。” 不能依据这些小征兆做重大决定。相反的，要殷勤寻求主，向祂求问清晰而平安的启示。
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21 NIV
人心多有计谋；惟有耶和华的筹算才能立定。
箴言19:21 和合本
The Ultimate Test
终极考验
When you meet someone that you think might be your future husband or wife, here is a test that you can use to reveal your heart:
当你遇见一个人，你觉得TA或许就是你未来的妻子/丈夫时，不妨问问自己下面这些问题，听听自己内心的声音。
The Ultimate Question for Men
男人们的终极问题
Could I love this woman as Christ loved the church? Could I sacrifice everything I have, including my life for her?
我可以像基督爱教会那样爱这个女人吗？我可以为她牺牲所有，甚至包括我的生命吗？
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 NIV
你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。 以弗所书5:25 和合本
The Ultimate Question for Women
女人们的终极问题
Could I submit to this man and fully respect him? Could I lean on him and follow his leading for the rest of my life?
我可以顺服并完全尊重这个男人吗？我可以依靠他，一生跟随他的带领吗？
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18 NIV
你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，这在主里面是相宜的。 歌罗西书3:18 和合本
It is not promised that marriage would be an easy thing, but it is blessed by the Lord and with God’s help, it can be an incredible blessing in your life.
Shen没有应许轻松的婚姻，但主祝福婚姻。在Shen的帮助下，婚姻可以成为生命中莫大的祝福